what i would do if i was in the avengers (apparently)

6:22 pm

(photo found from here)

so i had this dream the other night and i've been thinking about it a lot hence i wanted to record it somewhere but the trials of year 12 have caused my hand to ache at the mere glance in the direction of a writing utensil and i don't want the people i know in real life to gain insight into my hidden subconscious which rules social media out so i thought, hey! why don't i use that blog that i haven't touched in a buttload of time?

anyways

in my dream, i was part of the avengers (the marvel kind, not the british tv series that aired in the 60s which i may have mistaken for my beloved superheroes when flicking through the tv guide many a time). obviously, that's not a very unique fantasy - comic book worshippers probably have wet dreams to that same concept on a daily basis. however, rather than having the alien war or whatever take place in a poor, featured-in-every-movie-since-the-dawn-of-cinema american city while australia chills tranquilly far, far away, the avengers came down under to melbourne, because thats the place my sleeping brain knew and therefore it could destroy.

so my dream self was at home, watching tv with my older brother when BREAKING NEWS! A BAND OF SUPERVILLAINS IS ATTACKING MELBOURNE! AVENGERS ROLL OUT ASSEMBLE!

my designated avengers team member pager that i kept with me at all times (because this is 2016 and that's the widely used mode of communication states my subconscious confidently) began to beep hastily and, as i clicked it off, i only remember a single thought running through my dream mind: ah fuck, i have to help.

my brother pushed me off the couch and out the door excitedly, assuring me he'd watch me on the news. i stood on my front porch and sighed. here we go again i thought before bending my knees and launching myself into the skies, flying effortlessly through the clouds.

i took the route that we would normally take by car if we were heading into the heart of the city - rather than how the crow flies - as i glided above cars rushing outward bounds on the freeways and twisting my body in line with the turning roads. occasionally people stopped in their hurry to get away from the chaos i could hear ahead of me to point at the "flying avenger here to save us all". i waved awkwardly and sped up towards the cbd.

in my avengers essential ear piece, i could hear that the fight was well underway. the evil enemy team was made up of - well, what do you know - the same amount of members as us, the avengers. therefore, we were each delegated a different villain to defeat. mine was a hulking woman built not-unlike an amazonian on steroids, complete with enviously strong thunder thighs that no amount of squats would ever let me obtain. with only my ability to fly no better than a well-constructed paper aeroplane, i was fucked.

so what did i do? i procrastinated. all the way to my deepest subconscious, my go-to method of coping with stress was procrastination.

"where are you?" black widow yelled into the intercom.

"sorry! saving civilians!" i replied, helping an old lady cross a road next to where i had been watching the battle from a far, far away distance.

"your assignment is helping mine kill me!" iron man exclaimed, whizzing past me as i tried to begin rebuilding the fallen eureka tower with three bricks i found at a construction site.

"is dinushka even in this movie?" hawkeye asked and i didn't dare take a breath in case they'd hear me and remember that i was.

eventually captain america finished up his nemesis and informed me he was coming over to help me end mine, so i flew out of the empty coffee shop where i'd been taste-testing their now abandoned muffins-of-the-day and caught up with the wonder woman who looked like she ate wonder woman. panting from the effort, captain america assumed i was tuckered out from my brave fight and with no reason to believe otherwise, good old steve did all the work.

the rest of my dream is a haze of relief and shawarma but basically the moral is, people say your dreams reveal your true self, and apparently i wear my soul on my sleeve because i handled that situation exactly as i would any of my real-life responsibilities - with procrastination and muffins

(born in 1998 and have a voice to share with the world? click here to find out how you can be heard!)

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