okay so i was searching through my computer for a file i needed to work on when, oh no what a shame, i was completely distracted by other old documents i found including this masterpiece from back in year 10 literature. we were studying oedipus and were supposed to write a creative piece based on the play with complete free rein on how we went about doing it. nevertheless, i have no clue what was going on in fifteen year old dinushka's brain that made me write this. i honestly can't believe i handed this in, it's amazing. enjoy:
The night swallowed everything up in darkness to the point that you couldn’t see your hand if it was five centimetres in front of your eyes. But, MAN HAD FIRE! So the guards’ expressionless faces were lit by the flickering shadows of the burning embers.
Nothing moved in the seemingly never-ending pitch black. These guards had pulled the short straw. When you’re young and you say you ‘want to be a guard of Thebes when you grow up’, it’s not because you want leg cramps and to hear your own breathing for five hours straight. You want to catch thieves and stop murders. But who could be bothered with crime during the graveyard shift?
Finally, one of their stoic facades broke:
“Hey. Pssssst. Heeeeeeey.” One of the guards whisper-shouted to his partner.
The other guard seemed like he was embracing the belief that if you ignore something long enough, it will go away.
“Hey. HeY. HEY.”
It wasn’t working.
“Oi. I’m talking to you. Gimme attention.”
No response.
“Talk to me, I’m so bored. Oh my Apollo, are you mute?”
Eventually the other guard glared at him, irritably. “What?”
“HE SPEAKS!” After throwing his hands in the air dramatically, the first guard leant on his spear casually. “My name’s Andreas but my friends call me Dre.”
“Okay, Andreas. Shut up.”
“Sheesh, someone’s got an olive branch up their butt.” Andreas examined his nails, unfazed. “What are you even worried about? No one is going to bother doing anything here. This place is a wreck! What with the plague and the famine. I mean, if you’re going to rob somewhere at least make it worth the effort.”
“Please stop talking.”
“Also, did you hear about what’s going on inside the walls?” Andreas continued, ignoring him completely. “Talk about a freak in the bedroom, our majestic king is pretty kinky. Sleeping with his mum.” He shuddered. “How’d he even end up on the throne? He gets rid of one sphinx and his got everyone wrapped around his finger. Well, jokes on them I guess.”
Andreas chuckled before his face grew wistful. “You know what this reminds me of?”
“Nope.”
“Lions. Like in a pride. You wanna know why?”
“I really don’t care.”
“So there’s only one dude in the pride, right? The lion king. That means that when another guy lion is born, to become king he essentially has to kill his dad. And you know there’s one lioness that’s like the top dog – the king’s favourite honey. She’s got all the other lionesses gossiping about her during the daily zebra hunt because the king won’t make her get her own food. Basically, she’s the queen. So when the new dude lion kills the king, he then by default ends up ‘marrying’ the queen lioness or whatever it is lions do. Sniff each other’s butts? Nah, wait, I think that’s dogs.” Andreas’ face had become more enigmatic and the flickering fire revealed glimpses of his animated eyes glinting. “Now, if you just substitute our favourite messed-up royal family for the lions you’ve got one mighty fine metaphor. There’s Laius, the king of nothing now ‘cause he’s, you know, dead. Then dear, sweet Jocasta who busted the myth that mothers can recognise their sons anywhere unless that myth is actually true which would be wrong on so many other levels. And finally Thebes’ golden boy Oedipus. I’m not even going to go there.”
“So what do you think?” Andreas looked at the other guard with his chin resting precariously on the tip of his spear. “Am I right, or am I right?”
“Whatever you say.”
“C’mon broseidon. I worked hard on this theory – critique me, my body is ready.”
“It was great.”
“Suuuuure.” Andreas dumped his spear and walked up to his controlled partner. “I know you have thoughts.” He poked his cheek. “There’s a little opinion in there waiting to get out. Hit me with your best one, big man.”
“No thank you.”
“You’re not going to get out of this, you little Dionysus.” Andreas grabbed the other guard’s face between his hands as he smiled up at him. And, boy, did he have to smile up because the other guy was at least a head or even two taller than him. If Andreas was a stick, his colleague was a hundred-year old olive tree made up of lots and lots of sticks. He was big.
“Please tell me. Pretty please. Pretty please with a dry fig on top.”
“No.”
“I will actually pay you to give me your opinion. I don’t have a lot but I know this great robe tailor down in-”
“Oh, Apollo, fine.” The guard sighed, exasperated. “I think what happened to Oedipus’ was a great tragedy. His inability to acknowledge who he was and therefore his lack of self-knowledge was a fatal flaw to his overall character. Also, the fact that his pride and ignorance metaphorically blinded him to the truth that once revealed actually blinded him is unbelievably ironic. Tiresias may have been the actual blind one but he was also the only one that could see what was really going on, despite Oedipus’ stubbornness and refusal. What happened to Oedipus raises the question for all of us on whether we are all searching to ‘kill our fathers and marry our mothers’ in some way or form, though it doesn’t have to be as explicit as Oedipus’ example itself. Essentially though, it shows that trying to outrun or avoid fate will prove futile because everything will always play out as it was said it will.”
Andreas studied the other guard carefully before he shook his head and said, “Nah, man. I’m telling you – it’s just like lions.”
“I-”
“Whatever, I gotta go pee.” Andreas abandoned his post, leaving his perplexed and insecure associate alone to think in front of the towering walls of Thebes.
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